Saturday, August 6, 2011

Is my poem good or is it rubbish....thank you....?

I like where you're going with it, but there are some wordy places that you should rework to be a little more concise (lines 1, 6, 7). I don't get "less worry" in line 8. The term "due diligence" is so overplayed and cliche. It kills the whole thing for me. I really like the last stanza. Good word economy and flow.

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